i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This baby is an asshole
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
