do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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