I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
