I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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