I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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