My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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