K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
