When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
