"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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