We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
