I think i peed on brittanys purse
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
