This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize