Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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