I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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