My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
