I looked at my own cervix.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize