I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
