Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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