i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
