the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
