I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We need to rekindle our bromance
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
