dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
