You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
