then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
