I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
