hotel room ftw
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
