dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
