There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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