I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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