he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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