last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
organizing the empties. That sober.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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