Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
