My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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