the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
