do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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