You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
