Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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