So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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