You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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