Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
