the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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