Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
