i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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