This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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