I wanna bring you to show and tell
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
