i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
