As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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