Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
