Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
