Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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