I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
