Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
