I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
