My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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