Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we have officially lost it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
