I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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