I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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