I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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