doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
