do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
