Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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