We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
