is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
