Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
