i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
