Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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