just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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