Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
